W
hen my mother and father married,
they had known each other for several
years and all lived in the same section
of New York. When I married my husband, we
both lived in Kansas, but his parents lived in
Texas and my parents in New Jersey. Our wedding
was the first time they all met. Two families
joined together, our parents and our siblings all
becoming “in-laws,” for better or for worse, in the
course of one afternoon.
We live in a culture where people usually do
not marry their childhood sweethearts, where
families do not know one another. We may move
far away from our hometown for school or work
and return home to introduce our future spouse.
Our weddings are filled with people from far-flung
locations who have never met one another.
And that is not always a plus.
As a marriage and family therapist (who
much prefers doing pre-marital counseling to
divorce mediation), I often recommend, if at all
possible, that families of the couples meet before
the wedding. Book a weekend in a neutral location,
where everyone has a private room to decompress.
Just a little time to get to know each other, have
a few meals, go for a walk or an excursion, share
something about their respective histories and
anecdotes about their respective children.
I also highly recommend that engaged
couples schedule a weekend away, alone, six or
eight weeks prior to the wedding.
They should set aside 48 hours, with
no interruptions (put away anything with a
screen), to remind themselves, in the midst of
the inevitable pre-wedding stress, why they are
making this commitment.
Here are just a few options of hotels, B & Bs
and guest ranches across Kansas that could be
perfect for your pre-wedding escape or for pre-
marital, multi-generational family introductions.
MILFORD LAKE |
ACORNS RESORT
Located right on Milford Lake, with a small
beach and lake swimming, this venue allows you
to choose from large, modern 5 BR cabins with
spacious decks, cozy studios and 1 BRs. For very
large parties, there are also a number of additional
hotel-style rooms in a central lodge. There are
kayaks and canoes, or you can rent a pontoon boat
for a sunset cruise. BBQ or grill for the gang, or eat
at the new Cove Bar and Grill. There is also a new
convention center on the grounds, with ample room
for weddings of any size. Go to acornsresortkansas.
com for more information.
WICHITA |
HOTEL AT OLD TOWN
This hotel sits smack in the middle of Old
Town, the renovated, historic section of Wichita
where you can hear music drifting over from
bars and clubs as soon as you walk out the door.
It’s a bustling, urban atmosphere with plenty
of choices for every age. Dine at Public, just
across the square, for scrumptious food. The
hotel provides a full breakfast in a lovely 4-story
lobby atrium, perfect for family gatherings. The
staff will set up informal appetizers/buffets for
getting-to-know-you brunches. Aunt Sally can
even play the grand piano. For more specifics, go
online at hotelatoldtown.com or email kwhite@
hotelatoldtown.com.
COTTONWOOD FALLS |
GRAND CENTRAL
HOTEL AND GRILL
This small-town venue features a lovely
dining room with brick walls and 10 rooms,
a patio area with 7-8 tables and a historic
downtown with that “village” feel. Guests can hike
or tour the National Tallgrass Prairie Preserve just
down the road (and an outdoor wedding on one of
the bluffs, with panoramic vistas of the Flint Hills,
is about as “destination” as you can get). For more
information, go online at grandcentralhotel.com.
WILSON |
MIDLAND RAILROAD HOTEL AND
RESTAURANT
Just off Interstate 70 and a few miles from
the trails and lake of Wilson State Park, this 1889
hotel features romantic rooms, a dining area and
SET ASIDE
48 HOURS,
WITH NO
INTERRUPTIONS
TO REMIND
YOURSELVES, IN
THE MIDST OF
THE INEVITABLE
PRE-WEDDING
STRESS, WHY
YOU ARE
MAKING THIS
COMMITMENT.
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kansas weddings